To Wojtek
I love you like the simplicity of the air
Like the banality of the life we share
I love you like the pillows on the couch
Like your head resting on my lap
Like hot chocolate after a fight
Or a warm bath right when it was all
About to go down the drain…
I love you likefive fifteen years of my life
Like our cat asleep atop the laundry basket
I love you like the wanderlust that possesses you
And like the many lives in many lands
We want to lead…
I love you like the dream I dare to dream again
Like the fear I dare to cherish again
And the certainty I feel
When I’m not too busy doubting our love…
(Originally posted on September 05, 2004)
I love you like the simplicity of the air
Like the banality of the life we share
I love you like the pillows on the couch
Like your head resting on my lap
Like hot chocolate after a fight
Or a warm bath right when it was all
About to go down the drain…
I love you like
Like our cat asleep atop the laundry basket
I love you like the wanderlust that possesses you
And like the many lives in many lands
We want to lead…
I love you like the dream I dare to dream again
Like the fear I dare to cherish again
And the certainty I feel
When I’m not too busy doubting our love…
(Originally posted on September 05, 2004)
1 comment:
Delightful.
Different, for a start, in mood from your other poems as it is sugary sweet and happy. Sugary sweet is good at times, and this time is one of those. It is delicate, tender, and realistic. As always, your openning lines are very powerful and neat. They are good looking. Your poem generally goes on well, and is exemplary of how you can dwell on "like"s without falling into redundancy, namely the good twin sister of “The Scream”. Jusqu'à "down the drain..." its music is quite clear and pleasant. What follows, though more proselike, keeps up with the feeling and the details are generally funny as I dare say I can see you and Wojtek over there.
The ending was weak and abrupt. Firstly, it did not give me the feeling that here, yalla, khallasna, and secondly, it was really stuffed in as you cannot bear such a clear sky for a poem (is this not reminiscent of the Baroque mentality?).
Cool!
Ton frère Ahmad
Post a Comment