Rinse & Repeat

(To Katy)

Waking like the beginning of nausea,
I leave a muddy streak across the floor.
Rinse and repeat--
once is not enough;
they can never be too gone.
See that day
stretching ahead of you
like a cat in heat?
Never mind it;
it will too be done soon.
That's when the stairs
Will snake up the hill
And the balcony smile
like a whore with missing teeth.
Close the curtains,
and lean on the fridge,
and pretend that you're not there.
The house is empty,
just like you left it,
grey and quiet
and licking its own heels.
Here his socks smell,
just like yesterday,
pungent and moist.
And there her words await you,
like the self you'll never become.
Don't let her find out
that you're only human
and you're small
and you rinse and repeat.