Leaves

I scatter myself
That you might find me
Over the edges I smear me
Thin and grey
I search for you
But you have fallen
Like leaves
Incessantly
So brittle and crisp

You collect at my feet
And I drown in you
But you have fallen
Away from me
Away from yourself
Away from the tree

Nothing remains
But words splattered
In a pink book
Stashed over the porn
Faded pictures
And paler recollections
And friendships turned
Frigid and bland

I live with it
Try to embrace it
But it takes practice
To embrace nothing