The void threatens from the edges--
“For you are childless,” she said
“You are godless,” she said--
And I fill it, like a stuffed crocus
--She said—
Spill the scribbles on its blankness
Like sidewalks in the rain
Hold it, your breath
For Jupiter will never make it to Galileo
And yet he yearns
That point of suspension will return
And so will he, so will he
Look it’s coming to an end.
2 comments:
The last couple of lines, I felt, were weak. Enfantine, I guess. Other than that, I liked what I read. I can see what is going on quite nicely, and I know where “godless” came from. In fact, I really like ‘“For you are childless,” she said/
“You are godless,” she said---’ Even better than that, I liked “For Jupiter will never make it to Galileo,” there is something highly ethereal, heavenly, and, well, duh, Italianate about it. “And yet he yearns” reminded me of “and yet I shall die trying” in “Life.”
It holds water,
Ton frère Ahmad
Yippi! My best critic is back from his G.D. exile!
Welcome back!
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